“I’m the worst mom ever.”
“I really screwed that up.”
“Why am I so stupid and annoying all the time?
Sound familiar? For many parents, it’s not outsiders who sling the worst insults. It’s the internal monologue that because a negative broken record of all your insecurities.
It’s time to break the cycle
I struggled with self-confidence for most of my life. It’s just been in the last few years that I’ve worked hard to break the negative thoughts and focus on my confidence.
If you let negative self-talk go unchecked, you can’t ever fully love and accept yourself.
You can’t achieve the greatness that’s within you.
You can’t feel happy and confident.
And it’ll show. Your kids will notice. Your friends will notice. It’s no way to live.
So here’s how I broke the cycle and embrace self-love…
1. Tune into the negative thoughts
Do you notice when your negative self-talk kicks in and takes over your thoughts? Or is it just so natural that you don’t even notice?
For so many people, it’s just what we’re used to hearing from ourselves, so we might not even realize we’re doing it. It’s like the soundtrack to our lives that we’re so used to hearing.
The first step to changing your thoughts is realizing you’re doing it. Really tune into your thoughts, especially when you’re feeling down.
2. Interrupt the negative
Don’t let yourself finish the negative thought! Cut it off before you can finish.
Say, “STOP,” out loud if you have to.
Just don’t let yourself finish the negative thought. It’s not easy at first, but it gets easier.
3. REframe the thought
Negative things happen. We make mistakes. It’s okay to own up to it.
But we’re usually harder on ourselves than necessary.
Reframe the thought to be easier on your ego.
Instead of, “I’m a horrible mom and my kids hate me,” try, “I lost my cool today, but I’m a good mom, I take good care of my kids, and my kids love me.”
The simple shift helps you take a more realistic look at what happened.
4. Notice the positive
Rethinking the negative is a start, but noticing the positives helps you overcome your negative thought patterns even more. Most people are quick to notice their own mistakes, but they don’t take credit for what they do well.
Start being your own hype person! Be proud of the positives.
Your kid threw a temper tantrum and the store and you kept your cool? You’re rocking motherhood.
You were there when your friend went through a rough time? Way to go, friend!
Get in the habit of seeing the best in yourself just like you would with your friends.
Squashing negative thoughts isn’t an overnight process. Keep repeating the steps until it becomes more natural. As you do, you might notice an increase in your self-love and self-acceptance.